The Moment Conversation Ends: How the words we choose shape connection, trust, and influence
Do you realize that your choice of words defines who you are, your positioning in family, friends, and the workplace?
So many words we use today are polarizing. We assume that those communicating have similar definitions, think like us. Unfortunately, most of the time we choose these so-called polarizing words that create one’s predisposition as to who we really are. A great example today if you identify upfront that you are a liberal or conservative, democrat or republican, ministry or business, non-profit or for-profit, etc. What’s your first impression? Maybe to go so far as to whether I am a follower of Jesus or am I a Christian. This latter choice of defining words is many times a matter of life and death in the Middle East.
So, everyone (with sarcasm) knows who you are, right? How has this been impacting your ability to build meaningful relationships, to serve that person, connect with them……?
Your choice of words most times really limits your ability to create a meaningful connection with another person.
MT 12:37 “For by your words you be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned”
Remember the power of words; with words Jesus calmed the seas, rebuked Satan, and so forth. Our choice of words will powerfully define us as well as the platforms we represent.
Let me share a personal example, for 30+ years I was engaged with executive search, responsible for building two successful firms in Orange County to where I was personally involved with placement of over 600 professionals and indirectly with over 2500 professionals in all industries. But, if you were to ask me what do I do which of these two responses would best define (position) me so to garner the most meaningful conversation, relationship and represent what is my identity without creating any predetermined bias?
Response #1: “I’m a search professional, or a recruiter” Think about it, everyone knows what a recruiter does, at least has a predisposition from their own experience. Conversation over.
Response #2 “I’m in the ‘people’ business”. This reply will force a second question such as ‘what do you mean by ‘people’ business? My next response, ‘I encourage and equip influencers in the workplace to be all they were created to be.’ Reply, ‘that’s interesting’. Next reply, ‘I have been privileged to provide such services over the years in the Music industry, executive search and today supporting chaplain care services for front line workers.’
As you will observe, in this second response example, I am not defining myself by position title, I’m defining myself as to my basic functional role that defines me.
You can probably see from my example, the bottom-line to this approach is building a relationship (frequent exchanges) and defining my positioning so extend meaningful service.
What words will you now be using? Polarizing or engaging??
Ron Henry, a trusted advisor, connector, and leader who has spent more than five decades in what he calls the “people business”. Today, as Chief Succession Officer at Ministry Transitions, Ron helps mission-driven organizations navigate one of the most critical and often overlooked moments in leadership – succession. He walks alongside boards, executives, and leaders to ensure not only continuity of mission, but care for the people involved in the transition.
