Episode 82 - A Conversation About Invisible Grief (featuring Drew Hensley)
Telling stories of turning transition into transformation. There is Life After Ministry.
There’s a kind of grief that doesn’t come with a clear loss. No funeral. No ending. Just the quiet ache of something that never came to be. For many in ministry, this kind of grief goes unnamed and unaddressed.
Drew Hensley calls it “invisible grief.” It’s the pain of unrealized hopes, whether that’s infertility, singleness, unmet expectations, or a future you were certain God was leading you toward.
And because it’s unseen, it often gets buried under responsibility, performance, and the pressure to keep showing up.
In this conversation, Drew shares his personal journey through infertility while pastoring, the unhealthy ways he coped, and the turning point that led him toward honesty, lament, and healing.
This episode offers a grounded, honest look at how to carry grief without losing your faith.
Key Takeaways
Invisible grief is the pain of what has never been and may never be
Ministry leaders often carry grief privately while serving others publicly
Avoiding grief doesn’t silence it. It reshapes how it shows up
Lament is a necessary spiritual practice, not a lack of faith
Joy and grief are not opposites. They can coexist
Healing begins with honesty, first with God, then with others
The church grows stronger when it learns to sit with people in unresolved pain
Chapter Markers
00:00 – Introduction to Invisible Grief
02:00 – Defining grief that no one sees
05:00 – Drew’s infertility story begins
08:30 – The weight of grief in ministry leadership
12:00 – Coping, numbing, and emotional exhaustion
17:30 – The turning point: honesty with God
20:30 – Why joy and grief are not opposites
26:30 – A framework: lay down, pick up, move forward
30:00 – Adoption, redemption, and unresolved tension
33:00 – Is the church good at grief?
37:00 – Final reflections on trust and faith
If you’re navigating a difficult transition, you don’t have to do it alone. Visit https://ministrytransitions.com to book a confidential call, support leaders in transition, or find guidance for what’s next. You can explore Drew Hensley’s book Invisible Grief wherever books are sold. Take the next step toward honest healing and wise transition today.
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