Episode 61 - Deeply Loved: Why Empathy Is Oxygen for the Soul (featuring Bill & Kristi Gaultiere)
Telling stories of turning transition into transformation. There is Life After Ministry.
What if the missing piece in your leadership is not more strategy but more empathy?
Bill and Kristi Gaultiere say empathy is oxygen for the soul, and many leaders are gasping without realizing it.
They join Matt to unpack how Jesus models secure attachment with the Father and how we can receive and reflect that love in daily life.
Bill and Kristi name the empathy deserts many of us grew up in, why ministry culture often rewards self-neglect, and how receiving care is not a luxury. It is discipleship.
The conversation lands with the Four A’s of Empathy. Ask. Attune. Acknowledge. Affirm. Practice these, and watch connection and courage return.
If you are ending a role, beginning again, or preparing for a hard meeting, this episode offers biblical wisdom and field-tested tools to do hard things with Jesus’ easy yoke.
Key Takeaways
Empathy is not sentimentality. It is the way love becomes believable and actionable. “We love because He first loved us.”
Many leaders grew up in empathy deserts. Naming this breaks shame and opens us to care.
Jesus models secure attachment with the Father. Presence before performance. Prayer before platform.
The Four A’s of Empathy help in any conversation. Ask. Attune. Acknowledge significance. Affirm strengths.
Receiving empathy enlarges capacity for compassion at home and work.
Empathy transforms hard transitions. It dignifies layoffs, fuels grief work, and softens the ground for forgiveness.
Leaders need safe people and slow practices that rebuild attachment to God and others.
Chapter Markers
00:00 Welcome and name pronunciation fun
01:38 What is Soul Shepherding and the easy yoke of Jesus
04:10 Release day for Deeply Loved and why empathy matters
04:43 Empathy deserts and early stories that shape leaders
07:45 Why Christian leaders struggle to receive love
11:06 Empathy is oxygen for the soul
14:48 “Is empathy soft?” Gender, strength, and honesty
20:38 Attachment, secure bonds, and practical tools
26:30 Theology plus psychology in Deeply Loved
27:03 The Four A’s of Empathy explained
38:22 Empathy in layoffs, burnout, and hard meetings
43:53 Where to find the book and Soul Shepherding retreats
45:08 Close and gratitude
Explore More Resources:
Dive deeper into the themes of this episode by visiting soulshepherding.org/deeplylovedbook for Bill and Kristi Gaultier’s Deeply Loved, and find confidential guidance and support for ministry transitions at ministrytransitions.com.
Find resources. Find hope.
This is a sanctuary for those who've experienced a transition out of church or nonprofit Christian leadership roles. Our mission is to provide a platform for sharing, learning, and growing through each other's experiences.
A place for elders needing answers.
Welcome to the Elder Hub, a platform designed to uplift, empower, and unite elders across Christian denominations. This group serves as support and guidance for those entrusted with the weighty responsibility of making critical decisions within churches and nonprofit ministries.
